Jessica's Bridal

       I strongly believe that every single bride and grad has the right to protect themselves and educate themselves about the items they may purchase.  Now, of course every bride is bombarded by “don’t buy online” and “get it cheaper off the net”.  But I am about to open a door to brides and grads alike that may save you panic and ever mounting stress over your dress.  Within the last year, the bridal industry has been building cases and force against online retailers, counterfeiters and reproduction artists that are all in all frauds.  This means that that amazing 3,000 dollar gown you may just have bought for 1/4 the price may be within the strangle hold that my and my fellow salon owners are gaining over sites that seek to take your money, send you a bad or even falsely labelled reproduction, something they have no right to sell.  The ABPIA (American Bridal and Prom Industry Association) has currently won a ruling over 40 of the sites run by counterfeiters.  The US Customs and Homeland Security have been now placed in partnership with the ABPIA to seize, destroy and stop the illegal shipments that contain these dresses.  A direct quote of what is to come: “Our victory…allows us to move against the other thousands of illegal websites out there… ABPIA will aslo go after PayPal, Visa, Mastercard, AMEX, Google, shippers like UPS and FedEx and other conduits used to get illegal goods into the country.  In fact, all of these supply chain entities have been contacted and advised of the court’s order to cease aiding and abetting the defendants.”

So what does this mean for you? This means that you will be less and less likely to actually receive the dress you order from sites that are not registered clearance or retailer sites.  This also means that you are very likely guaranteed that the money you pay to them will be lost entirely, as payment to these companies is to support an illegal trade and is therefore in itself, illegal. Even more likely is that you will not be informed that your money is gone and the dress is not coming, as it is not likely the seller, the US customs or Homeland Security will inform you of any of this.  Why is this you may ask?  Simply because it is assumed you are aware that you are attempting to bring illegal items into the country, they are contraband and will be catalouged and/or destroyed.  This all sounds pretty snitty when you look at it.  Again though, I believe that the consumer has the right to know that should they choose to purchase from an illegal site or retailer, that you will very likely lose your money, your time and your garment.  The only issue to the consumer is the loss you will suffer should you choose to take a route that purchases and supports illegal sellers/retailers.  Legally we can not name the defendants, but do know that you run a risk of coming across one who the industry is going to eventually shutdown, possibly leaving you with nothing more than a hole in your pocket, extra expense and heartache in the end.  We don’t want our brides and grads to suffer the consequences of badly made, badly copied and/or chinsey creations and/or reproductions.  Bridal and Prom is an industry that strives for quality, beauty and guarantees.  We don’t want illegal sellers to group themselves in with those of us who pride ourselves on having amazing gowns, quality designers and beautiful, glowing brides. So again, buyer beware and ask yourself if want to run the risk that you just paid for something that may now never arrive, with growing certainty as the industry weeds the illegal sellers/retailers and counterfeiters out of the mix.  Another warning is that Canada’s brides and grads are not safe from any of this because 90-98% of the sites you may purchase from ship from the States, have home base companies or warehouses in the States (where again they would ship from), or ship through one or more of the Customs clearance agencies within UPS and FedEx.  Canadian customs will soon be added to the boat of agencies that will be stopping and destroying these counterfeits and illegal gowns.  UPS and FedEx are Canadian/US agencies and so they too will have to deny clearance through customs and will mark/catalogue/ send back/destroy these illegal garments.  If you really must buy online, ensure they are a registered retailer or whether they produce their own designs from their own designers.  You can find this out by phoning or emailing designer companies on the numbers or e-mails listed on their actual designer websites under “Contact”, “Contact Us” or “Store Locator” If you don’t see the name of the place you are buying from, don’t panic, just fire them an e-mail or a call, as some sites take time to update their registered seller lists.  Be a smart shopper and be careful who you buy from and where you’re buying from.  I will keep updating here so that all have a equal and fair chance of avoiding being caught up in the web of lies and deceit spun by these illegal sellers and to protect you from the loss of money and merchandise.

Cheers,

Jessica Rioux

When recently speaking to a local seamstress in Dawson Creek, a client, the seamstress and I began talking about online purchases for cheap.  The seamstress, who admittedly finds online purchasing from anything other than Brand Name online shops like Sears an often bad choice, disclosed some rather horrifying information.  Not only are brides subjecting themselves to possible train wreck reproductions and poor fabric quality, but also dresses sold to them as “New” or “Never Been Worn” being exactly the opposite.  This seamstress has had to deal with dresses that are stained, hems wrecked/dirty, previously altered “unaltered/off the rack/new gowns” among bad fabrics and bad designs/fits/reproductions. Be aware too that dresses that are sold under the label of being “samples” can be a warning too.  Now i’m not out to slag fellow salons, but you do need to ask questions.  Some good online buying questions to protect against these issues are as follows:

1) Although it lists as “Never Been Worn” or “New/Off the Rack” as the seller if this dress has any alterations done to it.

2) Is the dress clean, and that means free of discolorations, staining or soiling of any sort?

3) Is there any tearing, loose beading/lace/threads ?

4) If a sample, is it in good or excellent condition?  Have them describe any imperfections or wear on the dress.  Remember, it’s a sample and maybe one woman tried it on, maybe 300 have.  A good salon keeps their dresses clean and protected from wear.

5) Are there pictures of the dress as it is now? Ask for their pictures,not designer pictures.  Ask if they can send you pictures of the train, hems, bodice, seams inside and out of the dress, zipper undone and done up ( you want to know it works) or loops, panels, snaps corsetting laces ends and seams and the fabric at the base of the corset Vee (samples sometimes tear there from brides too big for the dress trying it on or wear and tear.

Remember, if they are legit and want to sell a dress then they will accommodate you or at least answer your questions.  A good seller gives a lot of pictures in their ad.  Be cautious, shop smart, know your sizing, ask questions and make a seller prove they are selling you what you want. Nothing is worse than seeing a bride in a panic, tears or heartbroken when she has to buy a whole new dress or shell out hundreds to clean it and/or repair it.

We have recently brought in a new line of shapewear that is perfect for anyone who needs a light but firmed appearance in the tummy, thighs and bottom, or looking for a very firm and controlling undergarment.  Body Wrap Shapewear is perfect for everyone and comes in sizes that accommodate petite and full figured women.  We have a line that is great for firming and serving as lingerie for your honeymoon or just to help you feel sexy in your own skin, and it lightly firms and controls  We also carry light control, which is great for giving your bum a lift and roundness as well as helping to firm problem areas that need just a light firming or control.  From high-waist thongs and panties, to firming slips and body suits, briefs or shorts.  We also have something for the woman looking for more firming, bum lift and contour control.  From the woman who measures in the very small sizes to the fuller figured woman who wants to accentuate and firm her curves.  We have something for everyone and we can order you just what you are looking for.  Don’t worry ladies, this control underwear won’t give you panty lines or flatten your bum, as they have been structured to fit around the leg without causing issues and the bum panel is made to hug and lift, not squish and flatten. Best of all there is a bridal line, made to help you firm up and look great in your wedding gown.  Best yet is many of the offered varities and firming wear comes in option that have wireless, underwire or molded cup bras to give you an appearance that makes you look fantastic and keeps your breasts in place, and won’t flatten them like some other shapewear. Come in and take the Shapewear test today and see how great this control shapewear is.  I know I did, and I love it!

I recently was asked why we don’t carry Alfred Angelo, since they are so popular.  So in order to answer this question for my clients, I thought this would be a good place to set out an explanation.  At Jessica’s we want to dedicate ourselves to good lines and good service.  Don’t get me wrong, Alfred Angelo has some great looking dresses and great colors that can be implemented into the gowns and bridesmaids.  I often myself, admire Alfred Angelo for some of their gowns, but that’s where my admiration stops.  As of late Alfred Angelo has had issues with having their gowns to retailers/brides/bridesmaids on time and as requested by the client.  Some of their fabrics and constructions have also gone down in quality.  It is a shame, since again they have some great options and styles.  As a full service salon we want to protect our clients from issues such as late delivery and poor quality.  We don’t want to say not to buy Alfred Angelo, you may get the dress in time and properly constructed and cut, but as a salon we don’t want to add to the stress of planning your big day and want to reduce the risk to you. Maybe when the issues are resolved we may bring it in, but until we can guarantee that you get the dress you order and on time, we will be choosing other lines.  We are here to get you your perfect dress and it’s our responsibility to pick lines that are reliable and good, we are responsible for the lines we represent and the lines we sell.  If we can’t guarantee it, we won’t sell it.  That’s our promise to you.

Cheers,

Jessica

Hiring a photographer is one of the biggest decisions when hiring your wedding vendors. So let’s say you’ve narrowed it down to maybe three photographers that are within the pricing ranges your comfortable with and you get on with them well.  The biggest mistake people make is over spending and selecting packages that are either too small or too big.  If you go over on your package and find out you need more, the photographer will usually upgrade you to the next package with the extra cost and photo items, try to avoid this to save on extras and money.  If you pick the package that’s too big, you spend money on piles of pictures or album items that you will end up putting away to collect dust.  Once you have narrowed down who you are considering hiring, think thoroughly about what pictures you want and need, for example you two and your parents, you two and his parents, grandparents, bridesmaids with bride, bridesmaids , groomsmen, groomsmen with bride, groom with bridesmaids, candids and posed pics of you and your spouse, etc.  Then you need to think about who is going to get copies or albums of the wedding, like moms and dads, grandparents, siblings, etc.?  Once you have figured out what you want and need, then you need to figure out what parts of the wedding are most important for your photographer to capture.  Do you need getting ready shots of the bride and/or groom?  Do you want pictures of the ceremony, cake cutting, first dance, father daughter/mother son dances, bouquet and garter toss?  The biggest key is figuring out how many photos and extras you need first, because many packages are based off of what you get and how many copies and albums you get.  Do you get a disc of photos that you can make extra albums with?  If so plan on maybe making your own extra albums to give to other family members beyond parents and grandparents.  Once you know all this you want to go with the package that offers you as close to the very basic number of photos, albums and so forth.  Many packages also have a time limit, such as 4, 6, 8, 10, all day hours.  Generally, you can account for a ceremony being 30-40 minutes, pictures with family 1.5-2 hours, dances maybe 10-15 minutes, cake cutting another 10-15 minutes, tosses another 15-20 minutes, so you are now at 4 hours.  Add on another 30 minutes to an hour for getting ready shots and travel or maybe 1.5 hours for extras and travel.  If the hours seem tight and you want all the extras and can use them, then go up to the next package.  If though you find that the lower package offers the photos and albums/extras that you need, then ask the photographer for their hourly rate, so that you are paying for the hours you go over and don’t have to upgrade to a more expensive package that will leave you with a bunch of unneeded extras.  You should only upgrade to the next package if you need the extras involved and need the extra hours too.  Many photographers have an hourly rate.  Also ask if your photo shots go over by one hour, if they will charge you that extra hour or if their packages include that one hour leniency.  Some photographers do allow this at no extra charge, as many understand that weddings sometimes fall behind schedule.  Just be sure you ask about it and then let them know you will be willing to pay their hourly fee as you have no need to upgrade. Be sure to ask too that you are given the printing/reproduction rights on your photos so that you can reproduce them as wanted and needed, because sometimes they may not give you those rights if you don’t ask (although this is less common now). Finally, you want to know what photography styles they do, ask for examples and don’t be afraid to ask for an explanation of what their photography style is or if they can do a certain one you like.

The wisest way to spend for your wedding is knowing what you need, how much of it you need and knowing your vendors requirements and extra fees.  Make sure they put this in your contract too.  Believe me, vendors like when a bride and groom know what they want, how they want it and that even if they aren’t selling extra product, they will get paid for extra hours they work.  You stand to save a lot if you approach things with a plan and knowing exactly what you need and want.  Just remember, needs are the most important, wants can be fulfilled once you’ve saved in other areas of the budget. Sometimes you can even fulfill wants on your own, like printing photos from a photo disc you get from your photographer, to give to friends and family.

no longer available

Less Really IS More!

Shopping for your dress online is so very tempting when you see lower prices and great deals.  However, some of these sites are fake copies that don’t compare in quality or make and they hold no guarantees to look just like the dress you ordered online, or even that it will fit right.  Even sites that are registered sellers with good deals or savings of $20-$75 isn’t really going to save you anything when all the costs come up.

Here’s a comparison:

Tony Bowls Style TBE11200

Retail Price

• $538.00

TAX

• $64.56

Shipping

• $0

Customs Fees (18%+)

• $0

Total = $602.56   

Tony Bowls Style TBE11200

Online Price

• $498 (www.cbslimited.com)

• $119.60 (DHgate) Copy from China very bad quality

Tax

• Subject to any tax within its country of origin $20+

Shipping

• $20-200+

Customs Fees (18%+)

• $89.64 (cbs) $21.53 (DHgate if not confiscated for copyright or chemical contamination)

Total =$627.64 (cbs)   $361.13 DHgate

So for the Online registered retailer that’s no savings, but buying in a store saves you $25.08 minimum.  And sure you saved a whack on that DHgate dress but you also won’t get the dress you ordered.  Although the seller on DH has a 7 day return policy if you’re not happy with the product, chances are that they won’t give you an address (or a legitimate one), it will be returned right back to you or sit in customs when you send it back for an extended period, allowing the seller to claim you never sent it in time.  And don’t be fooled by free shipping on things that come from DHgate and other cheap sellers and custom copies because your going to get nailed by customs, taxes, and other hidden fees like brokerage on your customs clearance, and some actually do charge you postage and shipping.  You still pay the customs on it to be processed whether it clears or not, and this may mean your item is confiscated and incinerated or refused and sent back.  Oh, and if you aren’t happy and have to send it back, it may just be on your dime, again.  So calculate out if you are saving and if you’re willing to risk that your dress or attire may not be any good or risk it never arriving.  You don’t want to shell out for a dress that doesn’t arrive only to have to shell out again at a salon.

Be a smart shopper and try to buy something you can see, feel and know it will be there in time and in great condition, and something that has already had the shipping and customs covered.

Here’s a good example of what I am talking about, just click the link below:

http://www.storeofdressreview.com

www.zimbio.com

You’re going to find that with anything you order or need for your wedding or grad, every business and service wants a deposit.  Sometimes it’s a flat fee deposit or it’s a percentage and it’s always non-refundable. For salons such as ours, 50% is required for any and all orders and we only suggest paying the deposit of the dress before tax, though this may vary by salon.  So what the heck is the reason behind deposits and why do you have to pay them?

A deposit is your guarantee that your item or service will be supplied and held for your event.  Vendors and salons need to take deposits to ensure that your item is sent or the day is set aside for their services on the exact date and time you need them.  We have to schedule staff and pay them, as well as the goods and instruments we use or must bring in to get what you want on that day.  If you’re not paying a deposit nothing really stops a vendor from booking someone else because essentially they are going to go with another person or party on that day that will pay them to hold that date or pay enough to order what is needed.  No money down equals no guarantee.

Essentially no money from that deposit goes to anything but the cost of equipment or supplies to decorate, cater, dress or entertain you, your guests and your wedding party. That deposit is used to pay for the services materials if nothing else, and sometimes this doesn’t cover all the costs your vendor or retailer incurs to provide their services and items. So essentially that money is gone once it leaves your hands, it’s not the vendors or retailers or yours, it’s gone.

We have a strict All Sales Final Policy.  However we can consign items that are not wanted or needed if there arises a circumstance that you need your money back, but that will only get you back what you’ve paid once the item has resold.  Some vendors however simply can not supply this option, as things like food, cakes and certain decor are specifically set and prepared according to what you want.  Again, the 50% deposit ensures you get the service you want and the vendor is guaranteed that they will be supplying you a specific and custom service and that their date booked is used or covered if someone cancels.

We always suggest that you only ever pay the required deposit on items and services so that you never have to fight to get back any money paid out above the deposit.  Read over your contract for specified payment schedules and be aware some services have a strict no monetary returns policy.  Paying just the deposit allows you to avoid losing money if you do cancel or if something goes wrong you stand to lose only the deposit, nothing more.  And always pay per the payment schedule to ensure you are only paying out what is required and not what may seem like a good idea to pay off immediately or before the date it’s due.  You never know what could happen.  A good example is if a vendor suddenly closes.  If you have paid off all the fees for the service they were supposed to provide, if they aren’t upstanding and carry through or find another vendor to replace them, you’ve just lost all your money. So only pay your deposit and according to your payment schedule agreed on between you and the service provider or vendor.

Be smart and be careful how you spend and try to respect the deposit policy of the service or vendor you book, they don’t make any money unless they show up and provide service.  Like I said before, once that deposit is paid, consider it gone because your vendor pays out to get what you want for your day whether it’s food, decor or attire for your wedding or event.

Ella Rosa BE68 top original, internet ordered replica (bottom left & right)

Why Choosing to Buy from a Salon IS the Smart Choice

Although I may come off as bias, I am very much someone who loves to save a few dollars.  But do you know what to steer clear of online and what to trust when shopping online?  I could rant on for hours about the downsides and bitter taste that online sellers leave in the mouths of brides and bridesmaids that have been wronged.  However, that does no good for anyone and there are legitimate sellers out there that are permitted to sell online, but can you spot them.  Don’t get caught up with a scammer who will run with your money and leave you with an item that is nowhere near as appealing or high quality.

The first thing you need to know is what lines an internet seller is selling, like Mon Cheri or Maggie Sottero (who won’t allow their dresses be sold by anyone other than a registered brick and mortar salon). Are they linked directly to the Designers site or are they simply pictures slapped on a page.  Any seller that is registered to sell a name brand product will be either listed on the designers website or will be confirmed as a seller if you contact the websites customer support.  Many of the designers pieces that you see on sites like House of Brides are  last seasons stock or the end/discontinueds of the current season.

Can you speak to an actual person?  If you call the company or customer service and all you get is automated machines and never get the option or chance to speak with an actual person, be wary, this may be an evasion tactic to avoid dealing directly with the customer or customer issues.

Where’s the disclaimer and guarantee?  Unless the site you are visitng has an actual brick and mortar store that you can visit and contact about issues, there needs to be a solid guarantee or product disclaimer.  And make sure you read it along with their sales policy.  Are all sales final, is there replacement on damaged items or items that don’t fit?  Where is it shipping from and what guarantees are you given as to the quality and arrival time.

Don’t trust pictures alone.  Browse the net for people that have used their services, pictures of their quality and if they are well structured. Check to see how long it took others to get their item.  And steer clear of sites claiming to make exact replicas or custom gowns that use the actual designers product photos, especially at a deeply discounted price.  If someone is making custom gowns then they should have pictures showing the quality of their work and the actual gowns.  Replica gown makers should be doing the same and should at least have a comparison photo to show that their gown is truly the same and of comparable quality.  Above all else you should be able to meet with or speak directly with the person making the dress.

Where are they?  If they are a site from overseas be very careful, many of these sites even within North America are run by companies and manufacturers that make inferior items and leave you holding a pile of fabric that doesn’t even compare to the dress you want.

How do they do it anyway?  Well, they first sell you on a really good price and show you a stolen picture of the dress you love.  They hire seamstresses or people that worked the actual designers lines and factories and have them work with cheaper, thinner and reduced quality fabrics to make the gown.  Because they aren’t getting top dollar for their work, they don’t care to make clean seams and hems.  They also use glass beads and sequins instead of crystal.  The lace they use may be remnants or a low quality lace used for items like the edge of curtains or with poorly woven materials or flawed discount fabrics.  To cut down the cost, they may reduce or altogether remove items like crinoline and boning, which add structure and a better fit and appearance to the gown.  They are ultimately able to sell you a cheap dress because they cut out all the fancy stuff and quality fabrics that make a registered sellers dresses as high quality as they are.  And guess what, once you pay your money, they don’t care.  Some don’t care whether you get the dress on time or at all, they don’t care that the quality is terrible or that you may shed many tears over how bad the dress is or that it won’t fit.  They got their money and essentially you got a dress and there’s no way to get your money back or return the dress.  They also don’t have to pay anyone to help you fit a dress properly, find you the right dress and guarantee that if there is an error in production or damage on arrival, that you will be compensated or the item replaced.

You’re going to pay more for less.  Ultimately this is true.  You buy a gown for three hundred dollars then to fix any flaws and the fit you pay another 2-300 fixing that, then comes the fact that you may have to get crinolines and boning put in for another 2-300, now you’ve spent approximately $700-900.  That’s if you’re lucky enough to find a salon that will let you use their seamstress or a seamstress that will touch the dress.

Your best bet by far is to shop with a brick and mortar salon and only registered sellers.  We can guarantee the product quality, we have direct access to the companies and designer reps,  and can guarantee arrival in time and in good shape.  We can fix and replace flawed or damaged gowns, fix sizing issues, correct any issue that arises with a designer gown and we only sell quality items.

Take a look here at a quick review of why salons are the way to go.

http://bit.ly/IlcYhG

http://www.bridesaware.co.uk/

Shopping for your gown can be a fun but often trying experience.  There are a few things you should know before going to try on gowns that will help you pick a dress and reduce the level of stress you feel.  We have also included s few tips on after purchase procedures that can save you from heartache and your bank accounts hurting too.

#1 Budget

As with anything in your wedding, the dress is going to need to be budgeted for.  You need to know exactly how much your wedding budget allows you to spend on a dress.  Once you enter the salon, you should be able to tell your consultant your maximum budget on a gown. Your consultant will work along side you to find dresses that are within your price range.  Don’t ask a consultant to pull a dress above your price limit, it will surely leave you feeling terrible when it’s a dress you love and is over budget.

#2   Save the party for the Wedding

If you are planning to bring people along to your appointment, make sure it’s not everyone you think will want to be there.  First off, large parties tend to get out of control and pull dresses and cause the consultants to play round up and control of your party.  Consultants are there to pull for you and having other people running through the salon doing their job is frustrating, distracting and stressful for the bride and consultant.  Bring only two or three people who’s opinions you trust and that will support you.  Make it clear that they are there for support and not to take over the appointment.  Large parties as well, tend to cause the bride more stress when she loves something and some from the large crowd oppose your choice.  Keep your entourage small and only of the very closest friends or relatives.

#3 Dress for the occasion

Unless you want to buy every dress you try on, wear underwear. A thong is not considered proper underwear, wear something that covers at-least part of your bum and is not see through at the back or front. You are going to be in a room with a person helping to dress you, they don’t want to be staring at private areas and bare bums.  As consultants we may have to get under a dress or push a hand down the back across your bum, we don’t want to have our hands on a bare bottom.  Some salons will even cancel your appointment if you don’t wear panties or a full bottomed and concealing pair of undies.  So dress your nethers appropriately.  Wear a bra that you will wear with the dress or something similar.  If you’ll be going bra-less that is fine, but panties are a must, it’s a hygiene issue.  Bring the shoes you will wear with the dress too, or at-least something similar in height so you know how much hemming will be needed or if you get a hollow to hem measurement, where your hem should fall.  If you are breastfeeding but plan to go bra-less on the day please bring nursing pads to place in the dress or wear a bra with nursing pads in it, again it’s to keep the gowns clean and hygienic, though no consultant should refuse you if you are breastfeeding.

#4 Sizing

All brides want to look their absolute best on their big day, whether it’s toning up or thinning down.  First rule of thumb is to never order a dress just based on sample size and always get measured.  No two designers are the same in their sizing and measurements and sometimes samples are not sewn to the exact same measurements as the sizing chart.  You may also require hollow to hem or hollow to waist measurements.  If a consultant puts in an order without measuring you, demand to be measured, no matter what because in the end a dress that doesn’t fit because of the wrong sizing falls on the customer not the consultant because you ultimately agree to take the size she put on the paper.  Planning to lose weight?  Ask your consultant about that.  About 5-10 pounds is a dress size and be realistic in what you can lose before the big day.  Don’t set unrealistic goals, and when in doubt go down a size or two at most, get a corset back and get a professional opinion.  If you think you may lose the weight but are not 100% sure, order the size you are currently, a dress can always be taken in, but rarely can you take it out or  you try to take it out and end up with a dress that is not as flattering.  Measure and think before ordering, set realistic weightloss goals and order as-is rather than smaller.

#5 You’re going to Need Alterations

Throw this into your budget for the dress.  Most women are not exact matches to the sizing chart salons follow for their designers dresses.  Salons order based on your largest measurement.  Most women require the dress to be hemmed, bust taken in or the waist adjusted.  Don’t be disappointed if you require alterations to your bust or hips, you want it to fit in your biggest area, you’ll need to get the rest adjusted to your bust, waist or hips.  Corsets are a great way to go, as they can often reduce the amount of tailoring needed due to their adjust-ability in tying up instead of zipping.  Another secret is that it should be a little bit of a snug fit when zipping and close the hook and eye after zipping half-way up.

#6 Timing

The most key thing to buying a wedding gown is knowing how long you need to order one.  Salons usually only carry sample stock and very few sale pieces.  Plan on ordering your dress 6-8 months before the big day.  Allow at least a month for alterations in that time.  A consultant can tell you exactly how long it takes to order any particular dress.  If you leave it to the last minute, you will be very hard pressed to find an off the rack gown that fits or that can be altered in time and may not be a dream dress for you.  Sometimes a late dress shopping bride can rush order a dress, but this can be expensive and there is only so much time the manufacturer can cut off the dress to get it to you in time.  So plan to order 6-8 months ahead of the wedding date and be sure to ask how long it takes for your particular dress to come in and your option for rush times.

#7 Consideration

It’s always good to have an idea and pictures in tow of gowns you like and want to try.  It’s also good to be able to convey what you don’t want.  However, try things on you may not have considered or styles the consultant pulls for you.  A dress never looks as good on the hanger.  Even dresses you may think are on the list of things you don’t want are worth a try if the consultant pulls them.  All too often do I hear things like, “no lace”, “no poofiness”, “no bling”  only to pull a dress with a hint of jewels or lace and the bride loves it. What you think you’ll hate may be exactly what looks amazing on you or brings out your best feature. Sometimes details can be removed, such as crinoline in the dress or a rose on the hip, to make it the perfect gown.  If your consultant is listening to your likes an dislikes they can pull a gown that embodies what may turn out to be the right dress for you and show you the options you have to get the dress to suit your desires better.  Although, if you are truly opposed to a style your consultant should listen and avoid what you really hate, like all over lace or ballroom gowns for example.

#8 Don’t Just Settle

If you find a dress that everyone else likes but your not big on, don’t just settle.  The same goes for brides out there that find a dress that’s okay but you don’t love after trying on countless dresses.  You want to explore your options and find something that you really like.  If you settle, you’ll be more prone to continue shopping and this may lead to higher expense if and once you do find “the” dress.  Only if you have exhausted all your options and still can’t find “the” dress, should you select one that you are content with.

#9 When in doubt, don’t pay out

If you question at all that the dress you pick is the one for you, don’t put any money out until you have thought about it because once you pay the deposit, it’s YOUR dress and WILL be ordered for you.  Salons will not hold orders for submissions one you have paid the deposit.  If you must, think about it for a couple days and then if you still like it, then order.  Once you pay, your committed to the dress and you won’t be getting that money back.  This is a key thing to remember too, no matter the circumstance, from pregnancy to death, will a salon give you back your deposit once a dress has been ordered.  They order it for you, yes, but they have to pay for it when it comes in and it was ordered for you, so as soon as that money is paid, consider it gone.  It’s not the salons and its not your yours, it goes straight to the manufacturer.  If you allow them to sell it, they may agree to pay back your deposit, but then again, some salons won’t even do this, so read the contract.

#10 Stop!

After you have picked your dress and paid the deposit or bought it outright, stop shopping.  No salon in the world will give you your money back or take a dress back if you find another one.  If the gown is fully paid for, they may consign it (not likely for many salons).  Even with a deposit, if you cancel the production of the dress, (which can be as few as three days from order confirmation given to the salon) you’re not getting your deposit back, because that dress is still coming and the salon still has to pay for it.  Unless you are wearing more than one gown on your wedding day, stop shopping and stick to the one you fell in love with.  In the long run it will save you stress and money.

#11 Pick it Up!

This may seem ridiculously obvious, but once you order a gown you need to know how long after it arrives that you need to pay for it in full and how long the salon will hold it.  Salons will contact you once the gown arrives and depending on the salon you could have 15-90 days to respond and arrange pick-up and payment or pay to hold it longer.  Even if your event is cancelled or something happens, the gown needs to be picked up or arrangements need to be made.  If a salon does not hear back from you within their hold period, they may sell the dress.  Read your contract, inform them of number changes and pick it up within the allotted time or arrange to have it held longer.  Without response or payment a salon can assume the item has been abandoned/surrendered and they may sell it at their own discretion.  Salons keep record of contact and payments, so if you don’t hear from them when you think the dress should be in, call and check the status of your order, even if it seems like it might be too early, they may have been trying to contact you without any results..  You may have paid the deposit, but salons can not afford to hold dead stock, they must move it.  So make sure you remain in contact with the salon and pick up your dress ASAP or arrange for them to hold it longer.

In conclusion, read your contract, keep the appointment quaint and quiet, get measured, stick to your budget, order in time, call every so often to keep a good and updated file and be open to other possibilities.  Have fun and don’t be afraid to play and test out styles and fabrics.  Make sure to laugh and joke, try on a dress or accessory you know you will hate and have a good chuckle over how silly you look, it will help you relax and enjoy the process, even consultants like to see a bride having a good laugh.  Ultimately let the salon worry about where, what and when once you’ve ordered and call around the four month mark to get an update or update them on your info.

Congrats on your engagement and we hope you have a wonderful wedding and road up to the big day!

Here is an article from Shine on Yahoo about a momzilla that really made a fool of herself.

http://yhoo.it/IwRXjd

Now the points she made as to etiquette by standards is reasonable and true, but acting in such a hoity-toity and negative manner is horrendous.  If she was out to teach her some etiquette she could have been much nicer about it.  Second off, people quite regularly marry in castles that are not their own as it is both tasteful and elegant.  It is also said to bring the house (castle) good fortune and luck to have a couple marry on the grounds, especially if it lasts and both parties live long and healthy lives.

Here’s some tips from a great author on how to escape the terrors of mom and popzilla

It’s the day we dream about as little girls– the fluffy white dress, the multi-tiered cake… and the mother of the bride. Yes, Mr. Right is there too of course. But the planning and let’s face it– the purse strings– have more to do with your Mom than your man. When it comes to orchestrating a wedding– you and your mom are a couple!

GalTime caught up with the experts on the subject. Author Susan Wiggs literally wrote the book on happily-ever-after love. She’s a bestselling romance novelist. When she and her daughter Elizabeth started planning Elizabeth’s wedding– a whole new chapter of their relationship was born.

While wading through the trenches of flowers and flavors– battling over budgets and much more– this “couple” learned a lot of life lessons. They share their story and some great wedding planning advice in their book: “How I Planned Your Wedding.”

Here are Elizabeth and Susan’s tips on Mom/Daughter wedding planning:

1. Brides, repeat after me “I’m just so happy to be engaged, I haven’t thought about that yet!”

Elizabeth: Memorize it. Print it out and staple it to your forehead. This one golden sentence will be the shield between you and all sorts of drama when your wedding planning adventure begins. When is your wedding? “I’m just so happy to be engaged, I haven’t thought about that yet!” Who are your bridesmaids? “I’m just so happy to be engaged, I haven’t thought about that yet!” How religious will your ceremony be? “I’m just so happy to be engaged, I haven’t thought about that yet!” How much money do you want from me? “I’m just so happy to be engaged, I haven’t thought about that yet!”

Related: Apps for Every Part of Wedding Planning

You get the picture. If you answer any of these early-days questions without having a well thought-out plan, you do so at your own peril. I made the mistake of telling my mom exactly who my bridesmaids would be (and, more to the point, who they wouldn’t be) within 24 hours of getting engaged. When my precious – but very young – cousins didn’t make the cut, my mom practically pulled out a pair of brass knuckles.

Susan: As the mom, you’re gonna see right through this ruse. There is only one answer: “Well, young lady, I have been thinking about it since the day you bagged Prince Charming, so leave everything to me. I’ve got it aaaalll figured out.

2. Remember that any sum of money your mother gives you for your wedding – no matter how small – is a gift.

Elizabeth: It’s very, very easy to feel entitled to family money when you’re planning your Big Day. After all, tradition says that the bride’s side is responsible for the heavy financial lifting. But I don’t care if your mom is a bazillionaire or a full-time volunteer with no income to speak of. If she (or anyone else) helps you pay for your wedding, make sure you show your love and gratitude. It’s a tough pill to swallow – or was for me, anyway.

Related: New Rules for Splitting the Wedding Tab

Initially, she said she thought I should be able to plan the wedding for $5,000, which seemed indescribably small against the backdrop of the lavish wedding I had envisioned. I fought tooth-and-nail with her about it, never once stopping to remember that she didn’t have to give me a dime. What’s more, when my very level-headed fiancé put together a modest budget and a well-reasoned request, he managed to talk her up to $20,000 in under 10 minutes and with no bloodshed. Imagine that.

Susan: You’d be amazed at how resourceful and creative people get when you put them on a budget. Those two were rock stars.

3. Do not over-share.

Elizabeth: I call my mom about three times a day. I have this weird compulsion to tell her nearly every detail of my life in real-time. Today, in fact, I informed her of the size and consistency of my dog’s most recent bowel movement.
When it comes to the wedding, though, you need to find a balance of how much information to share. It took me a long time to realize that I would save myself and my mother a lot of headache if I made decisions first, then shared them with her second.

Susan: She has internalized one of life’s greatest lessons: “It’s easier to apologize afterward than to ask permission.”

4. Acknowledge how important this day is for her, too.

Elizabeth: Don’t let your mom feel like a stranger at her own daughter’s wedding. If, like me, you went to college in a different state and don’t live close to your hometown, you’re likely to have a guest list populated with people your mom has only met a handful of times. Make sure your mom has the chance to surround herself with her own entourage of close friends who can cheer her on and dry her tears while she watches her little girl become a new wife.

Related: How to ATTEND A Wedding on a Budget

Susan: Don’t you wish there was a fashion-forward way to make everyone at a wedding wear a name tag? Honestly, Elizabeth did a wonderful job putting together opportunities for everyone to mingle. We had a welcome barbecue, a rehearsal party at a Seattle pub, and then there was the reception! I loved her clever idea of setting the table with conversation starters. Everyone loved that.

5. Laugh at yourselves.

Elizabeth: If you catch yourself having a giant meltdown over something trivial – say, a cupcake, or the color of the Spanx you’ve asked your mother to wear under her gown – take a step back. Would you really be flipping out about this in any other situation? No? Then take a breather, give your mom a hug, and have a big laugh. (Afterward, you can resume your meltdown if you must.)

Susan: That’s my favorite take-away from this book–the humor. Judging by the reader feedback, this is everyone’s favorite part of it.

For more tips pop over to their website : http://www.howiplannedyourwedding.com/

And here’s some basic etiquette for those who have some questions

Written by Jeanne Marie Laskas

When you’re not attending
You’ve been invited to a wedding. You don’t know the newlyweds well and decide not to attend. Do you still have to send a gift?
– Absentee

Dear Absentee
Well, you don’t have to do anything. But look at the big picture. Even if you don’t know the newlyweds very well, they thought enough of you to invite you to witness their big day. Would it hurt you to send something-a modest gift or a card-to acknowledge it? Of course not. Would it possibly make the newlyweds just a tiny bit happier? Of course. So just do it. When in doubt, share the love.

Showers and repeat customers
Two of my coworkers are getting married just weeks apart. This is the first wedding for one and the third for the other. My officemates and I want to throw a work shower for the first-timer, but somehow it doesn’t seem appropriate for our other friend. How do we tactfully explain this to the third-timer, or is it obvious that there shouldn’t be one?
–Wedding Blitzed

Dear Blitzed,
Are you kidding me? The fact that you’re even considering shaming this so-called friend by not celebrating her new partnership suggests you and your coworkers need to take a long, hard look at the meaning of the word friend. Either throw a joint shower for both brides or forget the office celebration altogether. Both women are embarking on a marital voyage, and both are worthy of good wishes.

My daughter is getting married for the second time and wants to have showers, a wedding party, etc., just like before. Family and friends gave gifts not so very long ago. I feel like this is hitting people up one too many times. What’s the proper thing to do?
– Doubtful Dad

Dear Doubtful,
Brides don’t throw showers; their friends do. This is, after all, a happy occasion, and on happy occasions people like to see other people unwrap stuff! Forget the grouches who might feel “hit up” this time — they probably felt that way the first time. The proper thing to do is proudly march your daughter down the aisle, show her your support, lift her veil and give her a big smooch.

Widowed sister-in-law getting remarried
Seven years ago, my brother died. His wife is getting remarried, and my mother insists someone from our family attend the wedding. Mom’s too emotional to go but wants me to instead. I said no — I was never close to the wife, and there are no kids. Mom is making me feel guilty. What’s the etiquette here?
– Wedding Wary

Dear Wary,
This isn’t an etiquette question. There is no rule requiring that someone from your family attend. If your mother feels a need to go, that’s her prerogative. But she can’t use a substitute. Remind her that you’re still healing, too, and tell her working the guilt angle is unfair.

The B-list
My best friend is getting married, and I’m one of her bridesmaids. She’s planning to invite my parents to the wedding-not with the first set of invitations but with a second set, after some of the initial invitees say they can’t attend. In the ten years the bride and I have been friends, my mom has been a close and caring supporter. I am truly hurt, and I’m sure my mom will be too. Am I overreacting?
–Daughter First

Dear Daughter First
Your mom’s on the B team? That stinks! Good for you for standing up for your mom. But you also need to step back and think of the bride. Is there a money problem? Is it an issue of space? You can’t know unless you ask, but do you really want to become part of the problem on her special day? I’d swallow this one. Put your arm around your mom and say “Let’s write this off as bride anxiety” and go out together for a nice lunch.

Eloping
After living together for 11 years, we recently got married and invited only a couple of people as witnesses. To our surprise, family and friends were hurt and angry that we didn’t have a “normal” wedding, especially one sister for whom I was maid of honor 20 years ago. What can I say to explain my case without apologizing for getting married the way we wanted to?
– Closet Newlywed

Dear Closet,
I know you think marriage is a personal declaration of love and commitment between two people. And it is! But it’s more than that. It’s an act that joins two families by creating a new, extended one. By not including loved ones, you’ve inadvertently made them feel excluded. Go throw a party — a quiet one, if that’s your style — and give these folks a chance to say, “Cheers!”

Hired help is Dad
My stepdaughter is getting married and has asked her father to provide the music. My husband has decided to go one step further: He wants to play drums with the band … all night. Am I wrong in thinking that the father of the bride should act like the father of the bride and not the hired help?
– Partnerless

Dear Partnerless,
Sweetheart, this is not your wedding. The bride and groom get to plan the party. And if she’s fine with Daddy playing Ringo for a day, don’t get in the way! Tap your foot, and applaud their special connection!

Vegan wedding
My fiancé and I are planning our wedding. He supports my wish for the rehearsal dinner and reception to be vegan. But my future mother-in-law is going nonstop about how people won’t like it. She is trying to take control of the catering. How can I keep my relationship with her and still stand up for my beliefs about saving animals? — Bewildered Bride

Dear Bewildered,
Welcome to the land of extended families. It’s compromise time. You’ve made your point about saving the animals; she’s rejected it. Let Momma Carnivore set the menu for the rehearsal dinner (the traditional responsibility of the groom’s family), and you plan the reception (the bride’s traditional responsibility). One note about hostessing and the vegan thing: The food better taste good. Folks are tolerant of others’ food beliefs until they are obliged to sample three courses of variously spiced cardboard.

A family affair?
My ex-husband and the woman he had an affair with are getting married. He has asked our 23-year-old daughter to stand up for the “other woman” during the ceremony. My daughter isn’t even sure she’ll be able to sit through the ceremony, much less stand at the altar on the bride’s side. Isn’t his request inappropriate under the circumstances?
– Bitter

Dear Bitter,
It seems unreasonable to me. But then, I’m as immaterial to this discussion as you are. The fact is, your daughter’s struggles are between her and her dad. Your challenge as her mother is to encourage her to talk all this over with her father, not you. And then support your daughter no matter what she decides. Added difficulty: Be careful not to infect her with your bitterness.

Disappearing bride-to-be
My best friend got engaged four months ago and I haven’t seen her since. I didn’t do or say anything to offend her, but we haven’t even talked for three months. I send e-mails; she doesn’t respond. Should I confront her and ask why she’s avoiding me?
– Miffed

Dear Miffed,
Woe is the girlfriend of a woman in her butterfly bridal stage! Chances are your friend is deep into the princess thing — picking flowers and choosing flatware. Her silence has little to do with you. I’d advise against confronting her. It’ll just evoke a defensive reaction. Instead, call her, tell her you miss her, and suggest getting together. Bring along bride magazines to show your support of this exciting time in her life.

 It’s always good to get some reading material behind you to help you reduce stress and plan with more ease.  I suggest reading and comparing advice from vendors blogs and articles to books and planners.  Help yourself and save yourself stress and tears.  Those of us in the wedding industry are here to help, but sometimes it takes the right way of doing it to get the result you want, even with your parents.